Good Rainy Friday to you all,

Before I start this post, I should say that this one isn’t teribbly HIV related, but more of a general life diary entry… now let’s begin.

I’ve been on online ‘dating’ sites for a very long time now, probably longer than I should have really, I joined a certain one when I was 13 and caused all sorts of havoc for the owners/admins – and since then the number of websites I’ve used has grown and grown until I couldn’t keep track of them.

I’d get home of an evening and check my twitter and Facebook, then I’d head onto gaydar, dudesnude, fitlads, manhunt, gayromeo, recon, and a few others which I can’t even remember. I’ve been doing this for nearly 3 years now and where has it got me? Nowhere really. I’ve dated three guys, one of which was an ass and two of which were bat crap crazy.

So last week I took the decision to leave all these sites behind, it was both therapeutic and a little scary logging onto each site one by one and deleting my profiles – some I’ve even been paying for. Shortly after I’d done away with my last profile I began to worry about what I’d just done, had I put myself at a disadvantage for finding someone special? But then I recalled the general quality of messages of I got on these sites – usually photos of people’s crotches but no faces, or elderly gentlemen offering to be “generous” to me. That’s not really the kind of attention I’m after.

During Birmingham Pride (at the weekend) I met an awesome guy, and we hit it off pretty spectacularly. This without the use of the internet, or being asked “what you upto?”, or “what you into?” or even the less common but still awful “ASL?”. Now before you get ahead of yourself, I don’t know if anything is going to happen with this guy I met over Pride, but I’m secretly hoping it does – he’s very hot and very very lovely.

I feel for honestly and completeness I should say that I’ve retained my Grindr profile, purely because it’s a great way to chat to my mates for free, and it’s a laugh at train stations when you’re bored.

I’m not entirely sure what to use my computer for now I don’t log on to all those sites, I’m sure I’ll find a purpose though – it makes a rather handy mirror with the webcam…

Soggy hugs,



  1. I think that’s very sensible, Sam. Before the internet was invented, gay bars were the place to meet other gay guys and get to know them before committing yourself to sex. Now with gaydar, gayromeo and the rest, a lot of gay bars and gay magazines are suffering and some are closing, which is a great pity.

    Hope the guy you met in Birmingham turns out to be all you hope for.
    I wonder if he reads your blog.

    A soggy kiss to you.

    Chris X

  2. Hurrah! Well done for meeting a decent human being in the Real World(tm). It’s not as uncommon as you think; the last guy I dated was a Realer, too and whilst it didn’t work out, it’s much better to do it that way as you can get loads of non-verbal cues which are worth so much more than just words on a screen.

    Best of luck with it!

  3. I can heartily recommend speed-dating. I tried it last month for the first time, and it is an absolute blast. Make sure you have a drink first to loosen up, and then just enjoy the whirlwind of it! I secured two dates from it, and I’ll definitely do it again (if the dates don’t work out, obviously).

  4. LOL Sam. I have been thinking the same i should get rid of Gaydar, Uniform dating, Squirt and the rest but where will a reclusive hairy hobbit like me meet people. Yeah like you i will keep the Grindr lol

  5. I’ve always been of the ilk that you don’t meet anyone when you’re actively looking. I met my current lady when I thought I was happily ensconced in a Civil Partnership with someone I’d been with for ten years. We were at a funeral, FFS.

    Needless to say, we talked a lot that day, and went home knowing something was there. Neither of us were looking. Neither of us wanted anything, or so we thought.

    That was nearly a year ago, and as we approach our first anniversary together, I’m still utterly convinced that *not looking* is the best way to find The One. Soppy, yes, but it was the right thing for me.

  6. I’m SOOOO looking forward to your blog turning into a MAHOOSIVE box office smash hit film !

    Good luck with the dating. A young lad as honest, comical and positive thinking as you will surely find Mr Right at the right time and place.

    Soggy hugs to you too as it’s STILL raining !


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