I’m actually appalled at myself: I’m not joking when I refer to myself as your resident pornographer, but I’ve gone further than I ever thought I would do. I’ve started a series on a website many of you will know, but won’t ever admit to knowing. And it’s popular. I’ve based the two main characters on myself now, and myself of thirty years go. The young me of the stories desperately wants to be “pozzed” which , miraculously, older me full of warning about the results of younger me’s actions, happened in the first episode. It took a friend in the States to point out the that the unnamed characters were both myself. So I suppose it’s a kind of chance to tell the younger me what I should have known thirty years ago.

I’m not going to tell you where to find this particular piece of filth, except to say that it’s written under one of my old screen names. If you want to read the stories, you’ll find them. What’s appalled me is the enjoyment I’ve had from writing them – and I’m not finished yet. In way it’s reliving my youth with the knowledge I now have thirty years later. The one constant is HIV and yes, I’m playing on the chasing/gifting motif. Most of my fiction doesn’t even mention HIV, but these little stories play on it heavily.

It’s not heavy porn but it depends on the force that unites and divides us: HIV. Find the stories and some readers here will be revolted by what they read, others will just say “meh”… but I’m aiming at the guys who think “yes!” I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing by allowing these stories onto a web page: I’ve read far worse, and on the same site, I’ve gone into great detail about how HIV has messed my life up. Maybe I’m looking to that future when HIV ceases to be a long-term condition but instead becomes a curable illness. Is it wrong to sell porn that features HIV in a world that allows twelve series of Buffy and Angel to be produced?

A number of porn studios specialise in man to man bareback action and yes, I enjoy their movies. When I get the chance to watch them, that is. I usually watch porn with company and he doesn’t have my sense of restraint. Maybe I should dig out the restraints….

Visitors to the site where I publish my work are made very aware of what they’re getting into. What I’m writing are my fantasies. Can we say “consenting adults”?



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