Rev Jide Macaulay
In January 2003, I was diagnosed with HIV.
When I found out, I reacted so badly. I cried for days. I felt disgusted with myself. The guy I was so fond of and my regular sexual partner had infected me and he was no-where to be found after my diagnosis. At that point I hated him, but not anymore.
The first person I told, cursed me and called me a slut and said I deserved to die.
A good friend responded differently. He took me to his house; he bathed me and gave up his bed for me. He promised me I will be okay. Before this I had been a good Christian boy married to a woman and had a family. But I was gay, now with HIV, I believed then that God was punishing me.
I started to think I would die but everyone assured me I would be ok. I started to be positive minded. When it came to HIV medication, I followed all the instructions. I was assured by my carers and counsellors to remain positive.
I never told anyone in my family until summer 2019 when I told my cousin. Disclosure only happens when you are ready, you decide who when to share. I was under no pressure. But sharing with you cousin has changed my life.
My greatest achievements and dreams are so far being fulfilled in these past 17 years. I have a job I love, I founded ‘House of Rainbow’ with activities in over 22 countries. I have attained two additional university degrees since my HIV diagnosis, and I am planning to enrol for a PhD. I have been to 50 countries. I have worked with many amazing people. I am the Chairperson of the International Network of Religious Leaders Living with HIV in Europe. I am a Volunteer Chaplain at Mildmay Mission Hospital – a HIV care centre since the 1980s.
I am an ordained clergy in the Anglican Church which I joined in 2010, seven years after my HIV diagnosis, trusting God towards priesthood.
I refuse to give up, because HIV does not define me, you will live to declare the glory of God. Stay healthy and love yourself.
Jide runs the House of Rainbow inclusive church. Visit their website here for more information.