The Health Protection Agency has announced a 26% increase in the number of men who have sex with men (MSM) having sexual intercourse without using condoms. This latest report follows news released last November that record numbers of people in the UK are living with HIV and another report released earlier this year concluded the numbers of MSM living with HIV has remained steady in England and Wales for the past ten years.<\/p>\n
So what\u2019s the reason? Why are MSM taking more risks and why are more of them having unprotected sex? Is this an education issue? Do we need to raise more awareness? There are various studies and theories but I\u2019ll just put across my own perspective, as a HIV positive gay man, why I believe these trends are continuing. I won\u2019t spend much time talking about condoms themselves. Any sexually active adult knows they can be a romance killer, a faff to put on and don\u2019t particularly smell, taste or look good. But put that aside and plenty of men out there manage to wrap up. So why is it that a proportion of gay men don\u2019t? Or to turn that around, why do they prefer to have sex without them\/ find them unnecessary?<\/p>\n
Many of the articles today include experts stating that gay men aren\u2019t complacent, the proof? That in studies MSM show awareness that HIV is a dangerous disease and using a condom can prevent transmission of the virus, they believe that the levels of MSM diagnosed with HIV would have increased much more rapidly if this wasn\u2019t the case. I disagree. Those gay men using condoms aren\u2019t complacent, but a substantial proportion of those men who chose not to are. <\/p>\n
I get the impression from many gay men that sexual illness is perceived in the same way Victorians viewed disease and sickness, that it\u2019s associated with the poor working classes. We\u2019re only human and we easily make judgements on each other, checking out guys online looking at where they live, what kind of job they have or even the spelling and grammar of an online profile on a hook-up site or app. I think gay men base sexual risk on these sorts of details. I had a date with a nurse and he ended up coming back to my place, we slept together but didn\u2019t use protection, we had both been drinking\u2026 and it \u2018just happened\u2019. A week or so later he sent me a text stating that I\u2019d given him gonorrhoea: I was mortified! At this point I\u2019d been to the GUM but always had negative results on all the tests. Got tested, negative result? I got in touch with him again just to let him know it wasn\u2019t me, \u201cOh, sorry! I had bareback sex with another guy but he was posh so I thought it would be you!\u201d This coming from a nurse! HIV and STIs don\u2019t care if you were born on a council estate or in a palace, they\u2019re only interested in spreading through a host, anyone will do. Too many gay men take a risk on \u2018nice\u2019 guys because they\u2019re middle class or have a good job, why would HIV infect guys like them\u2026<\/p>\n
I believe a bigger issue is peer pressure. It\u2019s easy to think of this concept in a school, children being impressionable, wanting to fit in with others so doing things that they know they shouldn\u2019t or that could be a bad idea. We rarely talk about the idea in adult context but I think it has a big role in why more MSM are deciding to have \u2018risky\u2019 sex rather using protection. <\/p>\n
Again gay dating sites and applications have a big role to play here. When guys are in the mood to hook up casually with someone it can turn into a complicated chore just to find someone and arrange it. Constant competition in an environment where there is instant access to many men mean that guys are constantly competing with one another, some guys like vanilla and others want something more hard-core, and for some reason MSM seem to have associated risky sexual behaviour with the later and that bareback sex is more enjoyable, \u2018you could sleep with that guy\u2026 but if you sleep with me I\u2019ll let you do it raw \u2019. There\u2019s almost a feeling that to some people you\u2019re not into, for example S&M, watersports or bondage as much as you say you are unless you want to participate in unprotected sex, as if to prove you really enjoy these activities you have to take part without condoms. Some, young men especially, aren\u2019t confident enough to rise above this pressure; I believe that\u2019s why they make hasty decisions.<\/p>\n
Men of all ages are using apps and gay hook-up sites, hormones racing; it\u2019s easy to get in a trance like state and make ill-advised decisions. You want to meet someone but it\u2019s been half an hour and you\u2019ve not found anyone close by, then a guy start\u2019s speaking to you but he\u2019ll only meet you if it\u2019s bareback\u2026 you know it\u2019s wrong but hey, it\u2019s just once? He looks ok? Guys like him don\u2019t get STIs\u2026 do they? So you meet up and maybe you were ok, you got tested and everything was fine, or maybe you picked up something, but after a visit to the GUM they tested you and treated you now you\u2019re ok, so where was the harm in it\u2026 so maybe it happens again a few weeks later. It\u2019s never really spoken about but at the end of the day the reason why I live with HIV is because I was just incredibly eager to meet someone and didn\u2019t have any patience to see who else might come along. So I slept with someone who only wanted to come over if we had unprotected sex, and it turned out to be a stupid decision.<\/p>\n
So fewer men are using condoms and I\u2019m blaming modern day advances. Not all of you will agree but we can\u2019t deny the recent reports are analysing data set up against a back drop of increased internet access, smartphone ownership and an increase of different companies chasing the \u2018pink pound\u2019 enticing guys to use their websites or apps\u2026 These places themselves aren\u2019t to blame but they\u2019ve created a very easy platform on which gay men can be classist, succumb to peer pressure or make hormonal, ill-considered decisions.<\/p>\n
Safe sex is a choice and whether you chose to use condoms or not please chose to get tested and if you\u2019re going to increase the risk of becoming infected with HIV then go for tests more regularly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Health Protection Agency has announced a 26% increase in the number of men who have sex with men (MSM) having sexual intercourse without using condoms. This latest report follows news released last November that record numbers of people in the UK are living with HIV and another report released earlier this year concluded the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,10,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alexs-blog","category-news","category-positive-people"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t